@Izianikapani: I threw a boomerang yesterday and it didn't come back. How long do you reckon before it's safe to turn around?
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@AsgardianRose: Every kiss begins with 'K' I whisper quietly to myself as I read his one letter response to my last 7 text messages.
@ericONEderful: If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work.
@bigmacher: Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying "ugh, please, this old thing."
@JonMHamm: Spent the day helping out on my son's Kindergarten field trip. Teachers should make a minimum of $6 million per year.