@GreenishDuck: I threw a parking cone at someone. I am the drunkest person in the United states.
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@itrevormoore: We don't thank them enough for it, but it was really cool that the Black Eyed Peas realized what they were doing was wrong and stopped.
@biscuitahoy: When you look at Twitter's trending topics, it's a lot easier to understand why they have to write "Do Not Eat" on silica gel packets.
@Book_Krazy: *Condom Co* [ok, don't let them know ur a frog] "Any ideas how we can make our condoms more pleasurable for her?" ME: Ribbit "Genius"