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@omgthatspunny: I told a deer joke once. It was very fawny.
@jergarl: Me: My leg always feels like my phone is vibrating.
WebMD: Phone Cancer
@_correctomundo: Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.
@MyHairyLife: Male seahorses get pregnant.
In related news, scientists believe men who tell women what to with their bodies come back as seahorses.
@thenamesmikeG: The weirdest thing just happened. I had Cancer, then 15 people on Facebook were brave enough to change their statuses, & now I'm cured.
@djderk: I have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life if I die next thursday