@Ndeshi_M: I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
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@DanMentos: *passive aggressively turns off Christmas lights when someone stops too long to look at them*
@sarcasticmommy4: If you think you're having a bad day, the lady who took my order in the drive-thru asked me if my order was to go.
@jlock17: The Twelve Days of Christmas would cost$107,000 this year which is relatively cheap considering the amount of human trafficking in the song.
@3sunzzz: Therapist: Are you a man or a mouse? Mickey: Quite frankly, I was hoping you could tell me.