@Ndeshi_M: I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bigkefd: Ppl freakin cuz its sharks in the ocean. News flash: that's where they live! If u see them at Chipotle, then we have a problem
@kelkulus: For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.
@sofarrsogud: 4 AM BLADDER: Get up. You need to go STOMACH: And you're hungry BRAIN: Imagine if Hammer Time was a real time zone. We'd have to move there
@juliussharpe: I hate when my congressman emails me to "take action" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something.