@bkdcasey: I told an ex of mine that i wished she was more punctual. So, from then on, she added !!!!!!! to every text. I have picked some winners.
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@adamallday: I like my meth labs like I like my girlfriends: highly unstable and locked in my basement.
@tastefactory: [ants at a Def Leppard concert] *Pour Some Sugar on Me starts* Ant 1: Oh hell yeah I love this one Ant 2: Sugar is good for us and the queen