@Eye_Of_Madara: I told her love was all about sacrifice, but she still screamed when she saw the dead goat.
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@novicefather: Past employers have described me as "selfish, egotistic, condescending, the physical manifestation of capitalism, and a true sweetheart."
@tastefactory: Student begins reading poem, teacher interrupts "No this is Creative WRITHING class" Other student squirms around on floor "Very good Todd"
@Blonde4Dayz: H: "Whatcha doing?" Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"