@samfromks: I told my 3 year old that Skittles are Care Bear meat and now I have the bag to myself.
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@ninjadinosaur1: The priest said that the demon really wants to leave, but I'm way too clingy, so the exorcism didn't work.
@TechnicallyRon: Christmas as a child: "Socks and Money? This is ridiculous!" Christmas as an adult: "SOCKS AND MONEY? HOW DID YOU KNOW? THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED. I LOVE YOU"
@omgthatspunny: All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.