@RamblingMachine: I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled "the meaning of dreams".
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SomthinBoutSara: I'm gonna pretend my dad didn't abandon me but is actually on the missing Malaysia air flight and he'll be back
@murrman5: *A group of cannibals eating a pie* This is amazing, what did you do different? "Well, I used fresh Barry's"
@lovemydogduck: I will be tweeting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
@007Rex_Inc: I dont get laid nearly enough for someone who can name five different types of pokemon.