@RamblingMachine: I told my BF I dreamt he got me a ring for my birthday. Later, I found a wrapped box from him, with a book entitled "the meaning of dreams".
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@TheDairylandDon: Dammit, phone. It's always been 'this' and never 'thus.' I've got clumsy sausage fingers, not a conclusion to my dissertation.
@jokeymcjokeface: I wonder if people who live on the sun are just as excited about the eclipse as those on earth..
@Molly_Kats: YOU TWEETED 23 TIMES TODAY. RT @realDonaldTrump People ask me what I do in my free time. The answer--I don't have any.