@LaziestCanine: I told my crush I liked them through a Spotify playlist
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@ArinLeeMorris: In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors.
@adult_keverage: Do you know what's cooler than those fake chains around your license plate? Everything. Every single thing in the world.
@envydatropic: It's cute how I ordered 2 drinks and the bartender asked if I wanted to wait for the other person to be seated