@DaHess1: I told my dentist I wanted whiter teeth so he named them all Bryce and moved them to a gated community.
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@SadMeterologist: TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him.
@delusionaliam: Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire.
@hyperblastchic: Me: That was fun! Fist me! Him: What?! Me: Fist me!! *holds out knuckles* Him: .....