@ThaJawn: *downloads Pinterest *pins tutorial on how to uninstall Pinterest *uninstalls

@jenniferfralic: Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today

@DurtMcHurtt: When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "you did this."

@Quartzjixler: My office manager emailed all 400 employees to inform us that our new paper towel dispensers AREN'T automatic. The human race is doomed.

@Skullcat: Hate to brag, but a cute fireman gave me his number today. It's only 3 digits & he said it's only for emergencies, but I know what he meant