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@Home_Halfway: I told my friend he's a bad thief. He's not taking it well.
@putopao: Thank you, Internet.
@LMHPhotog: Jesus wakes up one day to find only 11 Disciples with him.
"Who unfollowed me?"
@Awesomemom10: Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money.
@envydatropic: In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s
@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.