@Home_Halfway: I told my friend he's a bad thief. He's not taking it well.
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@LeBearGirdle: *Heaven* God: you may ask me 1 question Me: Why aren't there lowercase and uppercase numbers? God: what? Me: I wanna write loud numbers
@fuzzlime: last time I passed out on a Saturday night was when I sprayed too much bleach cleaner on the tub & forgot to open a window
@mattwhitlockPM: This girl tweeted "You might be ghetto if you bring outside food into the movies." ...No, you might be stupid if you pay 4.99 for Skittles.