@JaymayAllDay: I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheCiscoKidder: My wife never catches me scoping out the hot chick because she's too busy judging the hot chick.
@mytoecold: I wake up every morning with a ball of frozen cookie dough in my mouth. I love it. I’m not even sure who puts it there. The only person who it could be is my roommate Darren (who does buy cookie dough often, but I can’t see it being him)
@NotARatsAss: Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later.