@JaymayAllDay: I told my friends I found my Lasik surgeon on Yelp and they were horrified. Or interested, I'm not sure, I can't make out faces so well.
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@TattleTSister: I can never understand why people act surprised when horrible things happen. Where have you been since birth?
@DancesWithTamis: The only good thing about grinding your teeth at night is that every morning you can wake up and do a line of teeth off your pillow
@dril: if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
@SadieSmithRoks: Next time my cat has some friends over, I'm going to puke right next to where they are sitting and see how she likes it.