@3sunzzz: I told my husband I wanted a hedgehog and he said we don't need a hedgehog. Long story short, we're picking it up on Thursday.
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@GrantTanaka: [Alien Vs Predator] alien: feeling pretty unwelcome in this country lately predator: oh man look at those cute kids over there
@InternetHippo: [meeting at the headquarters of literally any app] good morning everyone, let's get started. the first and only item on our agenda is, how do we make this app worse
@Tmoney68: Kid: Dad, what does ironic mean? Dad: Well son, when 2 people decide to get married on Independence Day.....