@Jandalize: I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they're 21.
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@dumbbeezie: If there was a game show where people have to find a phone charger before their phone dies I would win the million dollars
@BoozieEyedJoe: My favorite deleted scene from Lord of the Rings is when Bilbo & Frodo discover they have a long lost hipster cousin called Douche Baggins.
@KeetPotato: [kelloggs meeting] "okay so, the corn flakes box, what can we put on it?" a chicken "jim is there something wrong at home?"