@ChickenMclovin: I told my sandwich to "go make me a girlfriend"
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@dance_blessed: The club can't even handle me right now. Like, the club's just had a very emotionally draining day and the club's been in a weird place.
@realHamOnWry: I don't understand people who practice polygamy. Why would anyone want more than one mother-in-law?
@Snarfernini: Brain: HEY 2am let's think about Greg Me: Ok Brain: He saw you scratching your nose today & thinks you picked it Me: Wa...what? Brain: Owned
@Ant_F3ltz: Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds... it's yours to keep.