If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@ChickenMclovin: I told my sandwich to "go make me a girlfriend"
@houffy: Apparently Mr. Neeson's "particular set of skills" is terrible at keeping his family from getting kidnapped.
@Reverend_Scott: I only drink Smart Water now.
I think it's really helping my...
my head thinking thingie.
@ExcuseMyTweets: It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm quite busy.
@DevilryFun: Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit.
@urbanfriendden: surprise your partner in the bedroom by loudly turning into a helicopter