@ChickenMclovin: I told my sandwich to "go make me a girlfriend"
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@DanKCharnley: Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)
@simoncholland: [sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*
@BuckyIsotope: *being pulled away by security from flamingo pen at the zoo with a handful of pink feathers and a black eye* HE STARTED IT