@LuvPug: I told my therapist what you said and she's gonna call your therapist and you're in big trouble
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@longwall26: One day, some dude was all "You know where we should save our money? Inside a statue of a pig," and everybody went "That is a GREAT idea."
@EJGomez: if ur getting chased by a bunch of drunk 90's kids just yell out "in west Philadelphia born & raised" then u got like 2 min to run
@dafloydsta: Whenever I get a "Final Notice" letter from a bill collector, I assume this concludes our business transaction.
@PaperWash: Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can't use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.