@Peteypops13: I told my vodka about you.
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@ClassOf20l6: why do parents get mad when u sleep all day like im staying out of trouble and im not spending your money like what is the issue here
@zachreinert03: My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool
@RexHuppke: My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate.
@Laser_Cat: Do you Karen promise to love and to cherish Mark, always put the toilet paper on the roll over the top, and not leave crumbs in the butter?