@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that if she has any problems she can talk to me like she talks to her girlfriends so we're discussing why I'm such a idiot.
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@JIMBOSWELT: I see ur bio says 'Medical Intern'. Can you take a look at this *sends DM of mother-in-laws face* n tell me if it's infected. It is right?
@LMHPhotog: *bursts into room Me: GUYS! GUYS! I FOUND A UNICORN Guys: Yeah sure,show us then! *holds up single kernel of corn *gets violently beaten
@HeatherLuvsYou: A foreign kid asked me how to speak English the other day, so I teached him some.