@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that she was sounding like her mother and I realized that was a mistake after I regained consciousness.
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@CherBear162: Where's my cell? "Right there." That's not my phone. "Yes it is. I cleaned it!" My cell's white?
@Marlebean: They say if a cranky baby won't sleep, take a nice long car ride... *hands cab driver $200, goes back to bed*
@C00LpenNAME: 1818: My dearest Katherine, I write this letter in the hope that it finds you. It has been 3 fortnights since our last correspondence. I fear the lack of communique means you may have finally succumbed to the pox... 2018: Bro i texted u 10 mins ago u ded?
@DanMentos: Dear Sir, I am writing this with a heavy heart. Sorry it's so hard to read I should really find a pen