@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that size shouldn't matter so she went out shopping and bought my "boys room" a new 4 inch TV.
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@SkinnieTalls: To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license.
@t_cuppp: Sit-ups are no fun, sharpie abs are definitely the way to go if you want permanent results.
@VinoTica: Him: You drank all that Coke? Me: Well, with my rum.. Him: ... Me: ... Me: How many beers did you have today? Him: Good talk, honey.