@Brianhopecomedy: I told my wife that size shouldn't matter so she went out shopping and bought my "boys room" a new 4 inch TV.
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@papasuncle: [commercial] "Is there a dull film on your dishes?" Me: [looking closely] Holy shit is that The English Patient?
@SharpeBytes: A customer just told me that it takes a 14 mile run to work off 1 Oreo. Don't worry she's dead now