@UrCajunKuzin: I told myself that I wouldn't drink today, but nobody ever listens to me.
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@andylevy: "Guess I'll turn on the news to see what the government is up to" - The President of the United States
@serialmatrix: If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
@Tommytoughstuff: Career day: Hi kids I'm Bills Dad and I work at the local morgue. Who wants to pet a dead body?"