@KenJennings: I told the kids if they're not good we're flying United this summer.
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@NicestHippo: [Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?
@djdarrellripley: Me: Let's go outside & make love in the rain. Her: What if there's lightning? Me: Then you get to be on top...
@NurseSeymour: You never really know how many inches you're gonna get or how long it'll last. Snow, maybe.