@KenJennings: I told the kids if they're not good we're flying United this summer.
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@daemonic3: PHYSICAL THERAPIST: I want you to work out with a resistance band ME: Ok [later at gym] ME: *works out to Rage Against the Machine*
@eff_yeah_steph: *puts eight small cups of urine on the nurse's station* Nurse: We only need one. *puts seven small cups of urine in my purse*
@matt___nelson: Hate your job as a calendar maker?Need a way to get fired? Easy. ( •_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■) Just take a day off
@titletown__: It's so obvious that she wants me. She avoids me at all costs probably because her feelings are so strong for me. Yeah, I'll go with that.