@lisaxy424: I told this cashier she kinda looked like Lorde, and as I was walking out, heard the lady behind me assure her she did not look like Jesus.
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@iRowlf: I think these bikers are coming over to give me a group hug because they like the Hello Kitty stickers I put all over their motorcycles.
@NeinQuarterly: New York: The city that never sleeps. Berlin: The city that never sleeps until Sunday. Paris: The city that never sleeps alone.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: I didn't get the job. Wife: Why not? M: Something about my eyesight. W: What EXACTLY did they say? M: That I needed 'adult supervision'.