@nursemella: I told you to pick up a slow cooker... All I see when I look in the kitchen is a turtle wearing a chefs hat
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@mstluvstrinkets: What's the nutritional value of an entire tube of cherry Chapstick? Asking for my two year old.
@egg_dog: supermarketes become so much more terrifying if you find a product with the word ‘instant’ and replaec it with ‘sudden’