@huntigula: I, too, am shocked Ted Cruz has had sex. I just assumed his kids were born when he ate after midnight and got wet like in the movie Gremlins
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@iwearaonesie: Pooh: There's a rumbly in my tumbly Piglet: What? Pooh: There's. A. Rumbly. In. My. Tumbly Piglet: Pooh: I'm hungry Piglet: Say that then
@SwedishCanary: I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work.
@Cheeseboy22: Just started a new diet where I order Wendy's salad and then eat all my kids' fries.