@DirtMcTurd: I took my family out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. My wife and I had chow mein and my daughter built 3 iPhones
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@LuvPug: I think it would be totes adorbz if I throat punched you the next time you say 'totes adorbz'
@FatherWithTwins: My wife gave me her Christmas list. I said, "isn't my undying love & affection enough?" We laughed and laughed. Now I'm at the purse store
@VikeeysSecret: If I ever get married, I'm not wearing white. Nothing to do with the whole virginity thing, and everything to do with being a sloppy eater.
@LostFelicia: Sometimes I have a life and other times I surf YouTube videos looking for a good fight in the comments section.