@P1ssed_K1d: I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho.
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@Fred_Delicious: [penguin waddles into computer repair store] "Hi yes my laptop is frozen" ... Computer repair guy - "how did you get to Milwaukee"
@Schmoodles: I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t.
@WilliamAder: People keep talking about the new Star Wars trailer. In my day, Star Wars had SPACESHIPS!
@RS3Feed: I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care.