@angibangie: I took my kids to the playground and now they want me to push them on the swings. Jesus Christ, haven't I done enough?
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@DurtMcHurtt: TEACHER: can anyone tell me what ostracized means? ME: *hand up* TEACHER: again, it's not a workout video for ostriches. ME: *hand down*
@shutupmikeginn: I like watching documentaries about murderers because i know i'm doing better than every person in the movie.