@Tuna_Lover: I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway.
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@theNuzzy: After my tweet conversation with you, I delete everything I wrote so you look like a crazy stalker.
@jazmasta: *Adobe update puts on fake moustache and glasses* Hi, my name is iOS 7, would you like to download updates?
@ka_unplugged: There are two types of people on Twitter. Those who can take a joke, and those who will copy it and claim it as their own
@CourtneyBale: Theravada Monks purge all their earthly possessions to express their faith and pursue spiritual stillness of mind. I did it because fleas.