@Tuna_Lover: I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway.
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@Phook75: It sucks when I congratulate a woman on her pregnancy only to have him quickly correct me
@BigBagOfScum: the restraining order doesn't mean we can't hang, it just means I can't be within 50'. We could still play catch or frisbee or something...
@LostFelicia: Someone's overfeeding that damn cat. I mean.. there's something like Stonehenge in her litter box.