@juliussharpe: I took over 50,000 steps today by taping my fitness bracelet to my Roomba.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Reverend_Scott: Hi, you've reached my voicemail. Why didn't you text me? I'll never call you back. Like, ever. You'd have better luck with a telegram.
@thepunningman: Passer-by: hey buddy, do you have change for the phonebox? Clark Kent: why would I change in a phonebox? P: I didnt- CK: I'm not Superman
@Jaysmemoir: My 6yo's homework today is learning how to count backwards. Yep that teacher knows about DUIs alright!