@JosesLovesYou: "I totally nailed that guy" - Roman soldiers
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LostCatDog: It's a comfort knowing Dad is looking down on me, but we should probably cut his hang-glider out of that tree one of these days.
@Canadian_Cutie_: Dad: ok we need to find the number to that store, get the phone book Me: Get the what now?
@DevilryFun: Went to buy face moisturizer and the young girl at counter said, "Lets find something for mature skin." And then Security had to escort me.
@TheAlexNevil: Me (to 7): Son, we... Wife (in earpiece): have to talk M: Have to talk W: about girls M: About grills W: NO M: NO W: IDIOT M: IDIOT