@Blondiethegood: I totally owned the mosh pit at the One Direction concert last night.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imdaintyaf: [Weasel & mink are cuddling, watching a nature documentary] Narrator: ...the mink, a close relative of the weasel Weasel: Oh no Susan oh god
@Phoebetate: I was just accosted by a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain't got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
@TheToddWilliams: I dropped a LOT of acid in the 70s. It was sulfuric acid. I worked for a chemist you see...well a few chemists. I kept getting fired for dro
@woodmuffin: Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(