@caseytduncan: I traced the call. It was phone-shaped.
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@TravLeBlanc: "What would Jesus do?" is an unfair question. He had superpowers. Your lifeboat is sinking. WWJD? Well, he'd get out and walk to shore. See?
@000___000: "daddy why did the moon turn red?" "because god is flooding it with the blood of all the children who ask too many questions sweetie"
@kellysdf: It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, "Mr. Mean Old Man" and his wife, "Screamy".