@ElgatoEsmio: I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH’S LIKE 3 DAYS
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@mollzbenn: The same friends who used to pressure me as a teen to drink & do drugs now pressure me as an adult to eat chia seeds & do crossfit.
@UNTRESOR: Just got kicked off a corn forum for saying you can eat the cob. I'll just sign up with a different name. They can't silence the truth.
@DVSblast: A tragic kissout between police and suspects leaves over 15 innocent bystanders believing in love again
@Birdhumms: "Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead" she hexed.