@ElgatoEsmio: I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH’S LIKE 3 DAYS
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@dlicj: [at my grandmas house] MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey
@dave_cactus: DEATH: You're grounded! Get back here! DEATH'S DAUGHTER: Whatever. *gets on motorcycle, zooms across tightrope* DEATH: HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!
@YimsterFife: I woke up with a horse's head in my bed. And straw. And the rest of the horse's body. And cows. And a tractor. And this is a barn, I guess.