@that1bish27: "I traded my carpet in for bare floors" --coworker. "Oh, me too. I love the shaved look.", said me. Apparently, she really meant carpet.
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@thatdutchperson: Cashier: what's with all the pineapple juice? Me: *winks* -Spends the night making delicious umbrella drinks with my cat.
@carlyken: Beware of girls like Princess Peach. She seems cool at first but she ends up in some other dude's castle far too often to be a coincidence.
@garrettbarry70: A pop up blocker for coworkers who send you an email and immediately show up at your desk to ask if you got their email.
@mellimelle: I spend 90% of my life trying to do the right thing and the other half wondering why I don't understand Math.