@knotta_tardfan: I tried driving today without texting, eating or getting high but it was so boring I fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks, Oprah.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: She's too young for you. Me: Based on what? Her: Based on the number of times the Earth has orbited the sun since she was born.. Me:
@professor_eks: If you like to spoon, you'll love to spatula. That's where I flip you over to make certain you're done properly on both sides.