@knotta_tardfan: I tried driving today without texting, eating or getting high but it was so boring I fell asleep at the wheel. Thanks, Oprah.
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@Parker_Simpson: I wonder if ppl who design new kinds of toilet paper ever think,"Why do we ever try? ppl are gonna shit all over this new design"
@Shock_Monster: Her: I saw this Yoda pen & I thought of you. Me: WHY? YOU THINK I'M 8 OR SOMETHING? Her: No, sorry... Me: Hey, hey, hey! Leave the pen.
@AudreyPorne: My neighbour is pissed. My recycle bin has missing for months so I've been using hers. My boyfriend is missing too. Same situation.