@AllyBallyBeal: I tried dusting after five energy drinks now my house is on fire.
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@SamuelHLowe: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
@AnkCoupleTO: [holding hands] Her: I think I love you Me: WHAT? Her: Did I say something wrong? Me: *running away with only one arm attached* not at all
@Home_Halfway: INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*