@AnkCoupleTO: I tried hypnotizing my wife but *cluck* I think *cluck cluck* something went wrong is that *cluck cluck cluck* corn on the ground?
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@tarashoe: how bout i spell YOUR name wrong, Stahrbux. hm? how bout i pronounce it wrong, too, huh? you like that? how's that feel, Stlerbecks?
@MistookMistake: I always carry a flashlight with me. That way, if someone locks me in their car trunk, I can entertain myself with cool shadow puppets.
@singing_ghosts: [texting in 1918] *pigeon delivers message* *msg reads: I don't love you* *turns to u* why would u send this? "it was 6 days ago. I was mad"