@msbhaven81: I tried killing a spider with kindness, but found that a shoe was much more effective
@warmyellowlight: some days I'm all [sound of a fluffy cloud violently smashing into a mountain] other days I'm [sound of crocodiles gently eating a mitten]
@FatherWithTwins: Just tell me those 3 words I am dying to hear:
"The meeting's cancelled."
@TheAlexNevil: "In just 4 years, you can get a 4 year degree!"
Yes, "university" commercial--that math checks out.
@Bluestmoon_: Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants.