@badteacher4u: I tried playing hide-n-seek with my friends newborn and now I'm not allowed back inside that hospital :(
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@TheSnideOne: What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?" What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."
@TheWoodenslurpy: Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?
@PlatinumShower: I just used "volumizing" shampoo for the first time.... Everything sounds the same.
@weinerdog4life: Last time I did drugs I dated an All-In-One Printer for 3 days, so no thank you.