@anbrll00: I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing wouldn't accept Jesus.
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@GlumGeorgeLucas: "The Force Awakens" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."
@sixthformpoet: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. There's nothing more endearing than happy people applauding themselves.
@rockymomax: [having sex] Her: HARDER! ME: Divide 110 into two parts so that one will be 150% of the other. What are the 2 numbers? Her: 44&66 HARDER!