@squirrel74wkgn: I tried sliding across the hood of my Camaro, but my pony tail got caught in the windshield wiper.
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@squirrel74wkgn: [at the club] Her: C'mon, lets dance! Me: Ugh, ok...one second *zips off cargo pants into shorts*
@NEthingButWork: Unpopular Star Wars theory: R2-D2 actually speaks English throughout the franchise, but all we hear is beeps because he won't stop cussing
@TweetPotato314: waiter: how are your finger sandwiches, sir? hannibal lector: *sighs* disappointing