@BonaFideIntent: I tried to be domestic & cook. Microwave is on fire. A waffle maker, 3 pans, a toaster & my neighbors cat in the trash. Making soup is HARD!
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@PeachCoffin: *admires David at the museum* I can't believe a teenage mutant ninja turtle sculpted this
@daemonic3: [superfriends lunch] BATMAN: There's an underwater nuclear threat SUPERMAN: Aquaman, go! AQUAMAN: [stares at watch] Gotta wait 30 minutes
@MikeLonghelt: They told me to spread love wherever I go. Now everyone is complaining about being covered in Nutella. You can never win with some people.