@slimmy_shady: I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "I'm peeing in here!"
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@Maxine12333: Friend said I was becoming antisocial. Ridiculous. You build one little moat and people jump to hasty conclusions.
@Breadery: I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear.
@qwertying: I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you.
@farleftcoast: The recent fake excitement of soccer in the U.S. confirms my belief that Americans will pretend to like anything they can scream USA about.