@TheAlexNevil: I tried to contact Joan Rivers through my ouija board, and a message came back: "If I wasn't already dead, your outfit would've killed me".
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@JKNenagh: I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is still awake at midnight and talking back right now.
@robin_991: Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a good chat. Unrelated, there are 1273 Cheerios left in this box.
@LoveNLunchmeat: I used to think people who looked for sex on craigslist were rock bottom... Then I discovered twitter.