@CrackYouWhip: I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer.
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@Mister_Veritas: ME: Hey buddy, your dog left a little 'present' on my lawn GUY: Huh? ME: *points to tiny, nicely wrapped gift* Thank him for me, willya?
@Feisty___One: I am not a ride or die chick. I have questions. Where we going? Will there be food? Why do I have to die? Why didn't you like my last pic?..
@1Bad_Scientist: Neighbor: Help I have a plumbing emergency! Me: *grabs tools* Neighbor is naked and wet Me: um what kind of plumbing are we talking about?