@CrackYouWhip: I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer.
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@Timmsmiff: "sir we don't hire people to be mannequins" Me:*strikes mannequin pose* "No, sir we don-" M:*new pose* [under breath] "damn this guys good"
@didifalldown: [Robot Uprising] Human: Oh no a robot! What kind are you? Robot: I am a counting machine Human: Oh thank g— Robot: Now killing human #53822
@theshantilly: Coworker: You look angry. Me: I'm not. CW: Really angry. Me: THIS IS MY NORMAL FACE
@MoneypennyNaked: 20: Roll out of bed looking like a model 30: Blush, brush hair & go 40: Blowout, perfume, push-up bra, mani, Spanx, facial, plaster of Paris