@Breadery: I tried to wear skinny jeans but it squeezed all my flesh into the top half of my body and made me look like a novelty balloon.
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@AsgardianRose: Perks of being an adult: I can eat 8 cookies, no one can stop me. Cons of being an adult: I ate 8 cookies, no one stopped me, I feel awful.
@KalvinMacleod: [dinner party] GUEST: so what are your thoughts on euthanasia? ME: [mouth full of mashed potatoes] I am against youths everywhere.
@ericONEderful: If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work.
@notalogin: Romantic cop: Here, I brought you a flower. Competitive about everything cop: Big deal. I brought you a flowest.