@TheRolo: I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams.
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@KateWhineHall: Pro tip-If you bring a toy boat into a hot tub and repeatedly reenact the Titanic, in a few mins you'll have the entire hot tub to yourself.
@NurseMurderer: grandchild: when did you know you were gonna marry grandpa? me: when the dude brought 4 different slices of cheesecake on the second date.
@OneFunnyMummy: My kids and I are exact opposites. They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me.