@JimmySelfDest: I tripped over the dog a second ago and am hurting a little.Web md has it narrowed down to a sprained uterus or a dislocated cervix. So..
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GroperCleveland: MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face.
@spikeWilton67: Me: I want to kiss you everywhere! Her: You mean New York, Paris & London? Me: Um, ya that's what I meant.
@Brianhopecomedy: Went on a trampoline with my 1 year old and learned that if you jump JUST right it unfortunately turns into a baby catapult.
@iLikeCatShirts: [Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family